why do i need your help?

so you already got the gist on the mainpage, but you're interested in the full story?

since moving out of my country 4 years ago, i've been living on somewhat tight budget. i'd say i'm actually pretty responsible when it comes to finances; i keep records of all my expenses in an Excel sheet and try hard to only buy things i really need. but if there's one thing i've learnt throughout my life, it's that money comes and goes. and most often, it only goes but never really comes back.

and that's exactly my situation right now. i've invested in some projects that didn't pay off, i trusted a few people i shouldn't have, and now my bank account's feeling really lonely and empty.

"ugh, get a job!" you say? well, of course i would love that. but i guess we all know that it's not that easy. i'm not gonna go into lengthy essays about the Berlin job market and expat life, but i want to address that, unfortunately, i am not in a state to have a proper job. my mental health is still quite a mess, i just recently started meds which still haven't properly adjusted, and i know i cannot give any job all i have to offer. right now, i would not be a good employee. 

it's not that i would just sit at home and loathe myself and do nothing though. no, i actually work quite a lot, but on projects that simply don't pay. why? because i believe they make sense. that they encourage change and establish community and help people. sure, they don't pay now, but maybe one day they will (fingers crossed). and, most of all, they are i m p o r t a n t.

but you know, i'm not completely useless. i make little illustrations which people seem to really like. i take still life pictures too. and perhaps, after years of giving my art away for free or for very little money, it's about time to try and make profits out of my skillz. let's milk the cash cow a bit, shall we?

of course, i know the times are tough for all of us. and i do realize i am no renowned artist exhibiting at Tate or MOMA or something. so that's why i'm selling (relatively) cheap. and that's why each item has several prices so that you can decide how much you're willing to pay me. all the prices match real products or services i pay for each month (some of them are small leisure time add-ons, though), so you know exactly where your money goes after it lands in my bank account. however, it definitely does not work on a "the more you pay, the better thing you get" basis, no. but i believe in these small gestures of support and care and i hope someone else does too.

i promise i am not trying to rip you off, or that i am not setting this store only to sustain my expensive bougie lifestyle. and to prove that, i have chosen this extremely honest and transparent approach to my sales. i'm sharing my monthly expenses with you. you can find a "needlist", consisting of extra-budget (yes, i have a monthly budget i try not to overdraft) things i need/want, ranked by how much i need them, on this website too. and i can assure you that as soon as i manage to get out of this financial shithole of sorts, i will invest all the profits to more less self-centred ventures, being it more and better items to be sold here, or supporting organizations or projects i believe in.